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The thing about figuring out how to date when you're a single mom is that it is exactly as simple, and exactly a boiling-hot messy as dating before you became a mom: you find someone you want to go out with, you somehow mutually express an interest in auditioning for one another over tapas, and then you spend the days and hours leading up to the date desperately trying to hide your shortcomings as a human being with Spanx and contouring.
When you finally meet up, you get drunk enough to stop the impulse to rage-cut your bangs over the joke you made in the first 5 minutes that totally didn't land.
Basically, while dating, everyone feels like an ill-advised timeshare property, and we're all just hoping that by time someone realizes we're a faulty wreck that they never should've bought into, it'll feel too complicated and annoying to get out of, so they'll just stick with it. Here are the ways in which single moms, in particular, are filling their dates' heads with bullshit with blissful abandon."Before I got here tonight, I worked a full day (which started with a 6 a.m.
wake-up call from a 3-year-old who suddenly forgot that peeing in the bed was a goddamn rookie move), slew the dragon that is getting my child to actually put on his coat and leave his school to go home (he stays later than most kids, because I'm a single mom and no one else can take him home, so in his defense, he's just kinda fucking tired and over it by the time I need him to focus and mobilize), made dinner for my kid, enduring 3.5 meltdowns (I hid in the bathroom and threw chocolate at him when the 4th one started), and got him bathed and in bed.
From paying the bills late every month because I chose not to remove the kids from gymnastics to sometimes being so tired that the 10 year old ends up cooking eggs for dinner is a small understatement of our daily lives. ;) I always asked myself that question: Why would anyone date me with serious intentions?
But there is always room for quality and special time worth every sacrifice.
(And weren’t you looking for someone who would be a great mother?
" At least, that's how it appears some strangers see it.
A pregnant belly definitely attracts attention -- some welcome, and some not so much.
Maybe strangers ask your due date, or whether you're having a boy or a girl.
Then you get several degrees too drunk to functionally exist in public.
Then three years later, you look back and realize that you were kinda awesome that night and the other person was having a panic attack about what to do with their elbows.
" Peter Sheras, a clinical psychologist at the University of Virginia, and the author of "The commitment is the most important piece because, when there's commitment, that becomes obvious to the kids."Being true to yourself and your partner is key.